Stars and the Moon
by yaoinessdotcom
Summary: Draco listens to his favourite song and considers how his life followed the same pattern. Contains suggestions of Seamus/Draco, Harry/Draco and Blaise Draco.


_I met a man without a dollar to his name,  
__Who had no traits of any value, but his smile._

Draco could picture the man perfectly. The first man he had chosen to spend time with. Seamus Finnegan, the sweet Irish lad from school. They met again a few years after leaving school, and suddenly old rivalries between houses didn't matter anymore. They had gotten along famously, and spent hours talking. He learnt a lot about Seamus that night, including how catching and adorable that smile of his was.

_I met a man who had no yearn or claim to fame,  
__Who was content to let life pass him for a while._

And that described Seamus perfectly. Apart from that moment in fourth year, when everyone had wanted their piece of fame during the Triwizard Tournament, Seamus had never wanted attention drawn to him. He was quite happy to go about doing whatever he wanted in whatever subtle ways he chose. It was one of the things Draco admired about him now, looking back. The song that he was listening to now, his favourite song, only served to remind him of what he had missed out on.

_And I was sure, that all I ever wanted was a life like the movie stars lead._

That had been his biggest desire at that time, after the war. His family name had been tarnished, his parents driven out of the society they had raised him in. There were no family fortunes left, having been used up to pay reparations to families that had been hurt by his during the war. He had spent much of his time after that wandering the streets, looking for something to do which would make people like him again, want to talk to him and be his friend. Looking back now, he realised that some of what he missed was the power. He had heard about the stars of muggle movies several times over the past few years, and had spent some time reading about them and how everyone followed their movements. He had yearned to be the sun that they revolved around.

_And he kissed me right here and he said,_

Draco and Seamus had shared only one kiss. That was all that Draco allowed himself. The man was wonderful, and they had spent a few evenings together, getting to know each other better than they had at school. It was all talking though, until Seamus had pulled him into that one kiss. It had been sweet, with a hint of rum. He remembered once, in their first year, that Seamus had tried to turn his glass of water into a glass of rum, and been caught by one of the explosions that people remembered him by. It seemed his love of the drink had not left him. Draco had leant into the kiss, given it everything he had, and made it passionate beyond measure. As they had pulled away from each other, out of breath and with identical blushes spreading across their cheeks, he had realised that the life Seamus was offering would not get him what he wanted. He had told him this, and Seamus had responded by telling him what he would be missing out on.

"_I'll give you stars and the moon and a soul to guide you,__And a promise I'll never go.  
__I'll give you hope to bring out all the life inside you,  
__And a strength that will help you grow.  
__I'll give you truth and a future that's twenty times better,  
__Than any Hollywood plot,"_

Now that Draco thought about it, Seamus' words were exactly like those in the song. Not identical, mind, but they had the same ring of caring to them. Seamus had offered to make him a better person, and give him a life that anyone in their right mind would consider fulfilling…

_And I thought, 'you know, I'd rather have a yacht.'_

That was the essence of the thought that had crossed Draco's mind that night. He had told Seamus how much it meant to him to have his name restored. Seamus smiled, not the same bright smile that had caught and held Draco's attention during their conversations, but the slightly sad smile of someone who accepted what was happening, despite not liking it. Seamus had left Draco sitting there, with one thought running through his mind. Had he missed out?

_I met a man who lived his life out on the road,  
__Who left a wife and kids in Portland on a whim._

Draco was pulled out of his thoughts about Seamus by these words. He knew he had met someone who fit them perfectly, but it took him a moment to remember who. _Harry_. After school, Harry Potter had done what everyone expected the saviour of the wizarding world to do. He married, settled down to have children, and found a career with the Aurors, where he had to do no work to gain their respect. Ginny Weasley was the woman he married, just as everyone predicted, and for a long time they seemed happy together. Then Harry gained the personality that he had never had a chance to develop at school, with all the expectations of the prophecy hanging over him. He had realised that his interests lay elsewhere, and divorced Ginny. Things had gone remarkably well on her end, and she bore him no enmity. Harry, however, had decided that he needed to get away from the life he knew, and decided to travel.

Draco had met up with him in a bar one night, and had been surprised when Harry, his former enemy, had told him every detail of what went on. He travelled each day, never knowing where he was going to spend the next night, either alone, or with someone who didn't know him well enough to care what he had done with his life. Apparently Draco had fit into that second category.

_I met a man, whose fire and passion always showed,  
__Who asked if I could spare a week to ride with him._

Harry had always possessed fire and passion, and that was one of the reasons he had been sorted into Gryffindor back at school. Draco had admired that passion from the moment Harry had refused to befriend him on the train in their first year, and Draco's admiration had quickly spread to jealousy because he knew very little of the boy's past. At school, Draco had thought him a spoilt brat who was able to get away with anything because of his fame. Well, part of it was true. Fame had been what allowed Harry to break the rules more frequently than should have been allowed. But talking with Harry in the bar that night, and understanding what he came from, and the pressure he had felt whilst trying to live up to the prophecy, had shown Draco that Harry was anything but spoilt.

Harry had asked Draco if he would travel with him. Draco had never liked the life that Harry had lived whilst embodying the nation's saviour. That was the reason that Harry had invited him along. That, and Draco was a very good looking young man. Harry had chosen to put the past behind him, and Draco had been sorely tempted to do so as well. He would have loved a week out to spend with someone who thought of him differently to the rest of the world. He had not allowed himself that moment of rest that would have taken his mind away from his goals. Now, he was disappointed that he hadn't.

_And I was sure that all I ever wanted was a life that was scripted and planned,_

Again, it came back to the fact that he wanted to spend his life with his family's name untarnished, his reputation intact, and money in his now empty pocket. He wanted to follow a life that was lead by dances to unheard music, the strict movements dictating everything he said and did. Now, he could not understand why.

_And he said, "But you don't understand…  
__I'll give you stars and the moon and the open highway,__And a river beneath your feet.  
__I'll give you days full of dreams if you travel my way,  
__And a summer you can't repeat.  
__I'll give you nights full of passion and days of adventure,  
__No strings, just warm summer rains."_

Nights full of passion had appealed to him. He wanted to feel the passion that the Gryffindor had in a way that wasn't thrown hexes, curses or punches. He wanted to know what the heat from the man's mouth felt like, what it felt like to writhe beneath his powerful body. Still, it was the 'no strings' part that had tempted him most. He could have walked away with his former nemesis, for an unspecified amount of time, and at any time chosen to come back to the world he wanted without hurting the man who was offering this. That was also one of the reasons he had turned it down. It would be difficult, he had decided, to have a relationship with someone who was willing to let you walk away at any moment.

_And I thought, 'you know, I'd rather have champagne.'_

Champagne. That had been offered as well. Harry had inherited a fortune from his parents, and had never spent much on the family he once had. But the sentiment was still there. He didn't want to run off with Harry, because Harry had given up his fame, and the kind of life that Draco wanted to live. Draco again wondered why he had chosen fame. It seemed silly, now, to want the strict rules and dances over a life of freedom.

_I met a man who had a fortune in the bank,  
__Who had retired at age thirty, set for life._

Blaise. He had always had the money at school from his mother's late husbands. He had managed to avoid having anything to do with the war, and therefore did not lose his money, his reputation, or just about anything else. He had been Draco's lifeline when Draco hadn't been turned away at the first attempt of contact.

_I met a man and didn't know which stars to thank,  
__And then he asked one day if I would be his wife._

It was true that Blaise had taken him under his wing after the first letter, and helped him get back into the life that he wanted. Blaise had grown fond of him over the months it took to school him back into the perfect pureblood heir.

Blaise was someone Draco had admired much since the end of the war. He seemed to have very high standing with all the pureblood families he mixed with, and somehow managed to change the traditions that everyone was desperately clinging to. Blaise, by asking to marry Draco, had put the same sex marriage thing up as a discussion topic for the pureblood world, and Blaise, being the figurehead that he was, had said it was okay to marry someone of the same sex and adopt and heir. The rest of the world had followed.

_And I looked up, and all that I could think of was the life I had dreamt I would live.  
__And I said to him, "What will you give?"_

Draco wouldn't have asked that question, even given a chance. It was the life he had wanted for a year, since the war had ended, and now that he had the opportunity to fulfil his dreams, he jumped at the opportunity without checking first where he would land. He never considered what living that type of life for so long would be like.

"_I'll give you cars and a townhouse in Turtle Bay,  
__And a fur and a diamond ring,  
__And we'll be married in Spain on my yacht today,  
__And we'll honeymoon in Beijing,  
__And we'll meet stars at the parties I throw at my villas,  
__In Niece and Paris in June."_

The wedding had been amazing. They had apparated over to Spain the moment Draco had accepted the proposal, and with a few firecalls and a couple of flicks of his wand, the wedding was set up and ready to take place. The Beijing honeymoon had been perfect as well. Thinking about these again, Draco was stunned to realise how close to the song his life had become. It was almost as though it had been written about him.

_And I thought okay,  
__And I took a breath,  
__And I got my yacht,_

If he had really jumped, smooth green grass would have been moving past beneath his feet, dotted occasionally with beautiful flowers. Things went well, and every now and then Draco and Blaise achieved a moment of pure perfection. The yacht had been nice. Blaise had bought Draco one that was all his own, although they were always together when it was used.

_And the years went by,  
__And I never changed,  
__And I never grew,  
__And I never dreamed,_

The ground had been sailing underfoot for a quite a while now, and at that point Draco had begun to wonder and panic about the landing. He had always heard about the honeymoon period in relationships, where everything was perfect, and the couple were happy together no matter what was thrown at them. Eventually, though, they had to hit the ground, return to a normal life and deal with the same stresses everyone else had to endure. After three years of being married to Blaise, it hadn't happened, and now Draco was scared.

_And I woke one day,  
__And I looked around,  
__And I thought, 'my God,  
_'_I'll never have the moon.'_

A tear slipped from Draco's eye when he remembered the day he had found out. Blaise had disappeared early in the morning, and around lunch time Draco had gone looking for him. He had been heartbroken when he overheard. Blaise didn't love him. Draco was Blaise's redemption project, to make him seem kind and caring and giving, weaselling his way into people's good graces. Blaise was cheating on him, with a woman.

Draco had cried when he found out, and filed a divorce before Blaise could have any say in it. He took all his expensive clothes and sold them for cheap ones he could travel with, and left. Now he sat on the corner of a muggle street in London, backpack and all, with no idea what to do.

Seamus would have given him the stars, happiness, in better ways than Blaise had. So would Harry. They would have given him the moon, but he had been blind to it and aimed only for the spotlight that was the sun.


End file.
